omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't turn off my feet"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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