4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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