I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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