Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
