The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
