Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
