haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
