Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
