if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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