Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
