carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
