Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
