I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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