He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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