SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just threw up on my dentist
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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