Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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