yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
