The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
