But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
