they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
