The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
