So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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