Do you still have your period?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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