Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
