My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
