and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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