I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
