Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
