Your face is a jimmy john
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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