That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
