It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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