If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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