i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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