i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
