everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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