How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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