Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I know her cup size but not her name....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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