I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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