How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize