Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
