Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
