Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
