I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
