good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize