How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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