even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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