just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
