OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
