Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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