Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
