Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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