Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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