Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
