Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize
