I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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