i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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