Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
