David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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