i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
