Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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