let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We have started to decorate penises.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
