You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize