I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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