omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
