she was so not down for the gang bang
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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