yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
