She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
my liver is dry heaving
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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